USWNT's War on Dignity

via Twitter (@USsoccer)

Frisco, Texas- The US Women's National Soccer Team (USWNT) is a juggernaut. The team has been steamrolling every opponent that gets in its way for a really long time. Recently though, the team has gone into overdrive. They obliterated Ireland 5-0 in late January after obliterating Haiti 8-0 in September after obliterating Japan in the World Cup Final 5-2. Just last night, team decided to obliterate another nation, poor Costa Rica, defeating the Central American country 5-0. The US opened the scoring after only twelve seconds. Twelve seconds? It took you longer to read to this point in the article than it took for Alex Morgan to rip the still-beating heart out of the Costa Rican defense. This win marks the beginning of the US's march to the 2016 Olympic Games in Rio, where they will probably rip out more still-beating hearts. All of these massive victories of late point to one conclusions: the USWNT hates the dignity of other teams. Similar to the Golden State Warriors, who clown on teams every day and twice on Sundays, the USWNT get some sadistic pleasure out of shattering the dreams of their opponents. Poor Haiti just wanted to hang out with the big girls for once, but the USWNT said, "Fuck you," and brought the literal smackdown, almost scoring as many goals as there are players on the field for the USWNT. Whenever some country tries to get too big for its britches and challenges American global supremacy, President Obama should just send in the USWNT and let history repeat itself.

#Sports #USWNT #2016OlympicQualifying